Home.

Home is a strange concept to me these days. When someone asks me where I’m from, my mind streams a slideshow of breweries and ArtPrize. Of freshwater lakes and cherries and apple orchards. Of meals with my family and sometimes, mountains of snow. It’s a compilation of all the things that are so familiar and comfortable and home-y.

But, then there’s an internal struggle between the familiar and the comfortable with the heart-thumping rush of this place that I now call home, too.

Grand Rapids is a home without vulnerabilities. Here, there’s a constant challenge between myself and how I interact to this place.

I find myself on edge with every interaction with another person and I’m thinking, “What are they going to say? How am I going to respond? What if I say something wrong?”

When someone is in my personal space or someone stops RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the sidewalk, an annoyance pops up. And then there’s the realization that I am in a different culture and therefore, I must be open-minded.

When I’m sitting at a restaurant for 20 minutes before a waiter(ess) comes over, an USA-induced impatience  takes over. But, that’s just not how things work here.

Every time there’s no countertop in the bathroom or toilet paper in a public restroom or no free water at a restaurant, I just sigh to myself. But again, that’s just not how things work here.

Many mundane tasks now require a lot of thought…and a LOT of translation. Choosing a life abroad means also choosing to reflect on your views of the world and your reactions to it. It will be challenging and frustrating. Instead of being annoyed or upset about how things are, you have to actively choose to change your mindset. And let me tell you, you will be e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.

Maybe every life needs two homes. One that’s familiar and one that incites growth. One that is calm and one that makes your heart race.

Where each one makes you grateful, for vastly different reasons.